Love and Hate
by Ausiewanab
Summary: Breaking up is hard, but what happens when it's because the person tried to kill you? An Add on to Peggy's Tears of Silence arc.


Disclaimer at the bottom:  
  
Love and Hate  
By Kara Estes  
  
  
  
Race looked down at his daughter, who was sitting on one of the lower cliffs that over looked the ocean. His heart broke in two pieces every time he saw her the past few days. One piece wanted to go to her and make all her problems go away, the other piece wanted to seek revenge to the person who had caused the pain his beloved daughter was feeling.   
  
Race called out his daughters name for the third time, and like the other two times, he received no answer. He waited a few minutes before he took it upon himself to climb down the cliff to go sit next to her. As he made his way down, she never once looked up to see what was going on, nor did she turn her head when he sat down next to her.  
  
"You all right Ponchita?"  
  
"I guess." She answered softly.  
  
"I've been calling your name for almost five minutes."  
  
"Sorry, I didn't hear you."  
  
Race paused. He was getting no where. "Want to talk about it?"  
  
"Not really."  
  
Race stared at her. She had been hurt, badly. "Did you two have sex?"  
  
Jessie glared at her father. The question caught her by surprise.   
  
"Let me tell you a story. All through high school, I was dating this girl named Hilary." Race smiled. "I loved her and I swore that she was the one that I was going to spend my whole life with. On our last days of our Senor year, before I decided to join the Navy, we had sex." Race paused letting the thought of telling his daughter about his sexual history catch up with him.   
  
"Dad." Jessie whined as she faced him, giving him a look of disgust.   
  
"I know, but listen. The thing is, she dumped me on the day of graduation. She told me she found someone new and I was nothing to her anymore. I felt devastated. The girl who I wanted to spend my life with was telling me that I was worthless to her. She took my virginity, and my heart." Race said.   
  
"So you joined the Navy, where you learned to get any girl you wanted by just showing up in your uniform." Jessie said in a bitter tone.   
  
"No. I did join the Navy, but not because of her. In the years that past since we parted our ways, I thought I would never get over her. Every girl I dated was for some reason, just like her. Then one day at the Agency. I walked in to get my new assignment, and met your mother. I bet your mother never told you that she worked for I-1?"  
  
"Mom worked for I-1?"  
  
"Believe it or not, she was this countries best Linguistic. She was going to be my interpreter for me while I was in Columbia. I can still remember that moment that I walked into that room, and saw your mothers face, I knew she was defiantly the one. Some how, she filled that empty hole that Hilary left, she even over flowed that hole. If I could have proposed to your mother at that moment, I would've. It took me almost a month to get her to agree to go out with me to get a cup of coffee."  
  
"Do you still love mom?"  
  
"Always, and forever. She may not have been my first love, but she will always be my true love."  
  
Jessie turned back to face the ocean. "What does that story have to do with what I'm feeling now?"  
  
"Well, it shows you that you will move on. You will one day pick up the pieces of your life, and put them back together. You may not forget, but you will replace it with a happier memory."  
  
They sat there for a few minutes, gazing into the dark sunset.  
  
"Why do I feel so tired, and why can't I cry, Daddy? I want to cry, but every time I try, I just can't bring myself to do it, and I end up feeling more exhausted."  
  
"Why? Because your body is using every ounce of strength it has trying to mend your broken heart." He looked at his daughter, who decided at that moment to look away. He could tell that she was about to cry, yet, nothing was happening.  
  
"Damnit Dad. I'm a Bannon. I'm not suppose to be this emotionally unbalanced. I'm suppose to be strong." She said as she wiped a tear from her eye.  
  
"But every strong person has feelings." He continued to look the side of her face. "I know it hurts. And no matter what I tell you is going to make it all go away. And I can't promise you that tomorrow is going to be any different. I can't even promise you that the next to you kiss another boy that your not going to think about him. But I can promise you this, that you are better than he is. I can promise you that you will smile again, and you will cry again. Your life will go on, unlike his."  
  
"I know Daddy." She said with a shrug. "I can take being dumped, because I will always know that he at least felt something for me. But I'm finding it hard knowing the person I loved only was with me because he wanted to kill me and my family."  
  
"Jess, you know that there is always a fine line between love and hate."  
  
"Yeah, but how do I know which side of the line he was on?"  
  
"You never will." He then kissed the side of her head. "But I'm glad we never did get to find out. I enjoy talking to you here, and not talking to a grave."  
  
"Yeah Daddy." She paused. "I miss Jer. Even though he tried to kill me, I still miss him."  
  
"You miss the person he was before his fateful day, and not the person who tried to kill you."  
  
"Yeah. I guess so. Thanks Dad."  
  
"Your welcome Ponchita."  
  
"Hey, Dad." She asked, turning to look at him.   
  
"Yeah, Darling."   
  
"I love you."  
  
"I love you too."  
  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Race, or Jessie. Peggy owns Jer. 


End file.
